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modern society is so divorced from our food sources that most people who eat pop tarts have never actually killed one themselves

Amy hat dies geteilt

Dammit Amy. You made me spit coffee all over my keyboard. 😜
I felt this very shame watching the Pop Tart Bowl last night.
I only eat the free range ones never toasted
OMG I literally just ate two pop tarts 😋
They leap out of the toaster and you need to have coordination and experience to take them down safely
Still have trouble finding a reliable supply of organic ones since the supply chain disaster of the early '20s
guided PopTart Safari hunt now at Costco farms for only 49.95$ . Franchise opportunity
and unfortunately now that they only exist in captivity it'll stay that way
my dad used to say that I should conserve the pop tarts cuz they didn’t grow on trees, but I didn’t believe him.

Those trees are out there somewhere.
Please only consider farm raised as wild Pop tarts are both highly dangerous and often a protected species.
My pappy taught me how to kill and skin a pop tart by the time I was six
my pop tarts only come from a free range farm.
Pop tarts are utterly dead inert objects with a shelf life of 100 years. All vitality is extracted at the factory to be injected into oligarchs who want to live forever. If you find a live one, it has been possessed by a pastry demon.
But how many have died eating pop tarts? Hotter than the sun! 😱
Yeah, we're wimps.

Imagine having the guts to look one in the eyes.
Well, dadgum if I didn’t just shoot a strawberry frosted right off my back deck! Might sound cruel, but most of ‘em wouldn’t make it through the harsh winter anyway.
Not all poptart eaters...
I would, but I can’t stand the screams the pop-tarts make.
I stopped killing pop tarts when I learned they were killing me.
I have popped and I have tarted but so far I haven't brought the two together
The trail of sprinkles and pastry crumbs makes them easy to track, though.
Such a shame. They are such beautiful creatures to see. Wonderful plumage.
like where does a chalupa even live? Do they go down easy?
This is a classic. Thank you for your service. #blessed
Do you know how dangerous they are in the wild!?!
this one made me laugh out loud, and when I read it to my partner they audibly chuckled.
to respect the pop, as we did, it was important to demonstrate that by using every part of it.
I have. With bare hands. I’m not sorry.
Amy’s Patreon is this way y’all https://www.patreon.com/amy_a
As with sandwiches, I'm not even sure where they live.

@grumpygamer
The last thing I want to hear from my toaster is the sound of pop tarts screaming as they die.
I'm not vegan, but I only eat free-range pop tarts from farms that follow ethical slaughter practices
Everyone assumes they grow in the back of the supermarket on Pop Tart bushes.
NO CARL
You kill a pop tart with a pop gun.
Me, who reacts before even finishing reading a sentence: "You're so right! This is a serious problem! I think all schools should have a year where the kids take farming classes and..."

Me: "...oh. Good one, though."
if anyone is interested, I have developed a curriculum to integrate poptart hunting strategies in science classes for primary. Happy to help adapt it for high school.
That’s a really good point.
actually, as a kid, I routinely burnt some to a crisp by accident. I didn't do any time for it, but mom started watching me a bit closer....
In fact preliminary reports underestimate the problem. Upon re-examination of the data, it appears no one alive today has ever successfully hunted a poptart. The skill became extinct when Mr Kellogg died this year without passing on his techniques to his daughter Ms Keller-Nova. Earlier statistics were collected before Mr Joost "Georg" Kellogg's death. He was reported to hunt and slay millions of live pop tarts himself daily for sport. He was an outlier should not have been counted.
Never name a Pop-Tart. You can't bring yourself to slaughter it. You can't keep it as a pet, then, because it'll refuse to eat or move, and get infested with parasites and fungi. Veterinarians will refuse to treat them, and suggest you need treatment instead.
Dieser Beitrag wurde bearbeitet. (11 Monate her)
except for booger eaters
grass-fed pop tarts are better for the planet… Especially Maui Wowie
I have never popped a tart.
that’s so judgy. So what that I have never hunted or killed one myself? It doesn’t make me a lesser person. I restrict myself to ethically-sourced, farm-raised Pop Tarts anyway.
and there's me. I'm so divorced from society, I had to look up pop tart.
Unnecessary Cruelty! I have a pot-sticker tree in the yard. It'a all I need.
my father, who taught me basic use of weapons , used to take us deep into the back county to hunt the higher desert meadow muffin flavored pop tarts . Herds of them grazed the grasslands of the Warner Valley, the Kumeyaay word lost to time, in the shadow of Mount Palomar.
If every people were forced to see what goes in slaughterhouse, then I think a handful of them will turn to vegan/vegetarian.

Forcing to see is essential because people rarely get to witness an animal being killed in front of their eyes. If they do enjoy that and take a joy, then it's fine. They can eat meat. ✌️

Idk how much people will enjoy it tho. As a vegetarian, I have seen an animal being killed. It's sad. I am just amazed people can eat the same meat after seeing that.
Dieser Beitrag wurde bearbeitet. (11 Monate her)
But you've never truly lived until you've hunted your own haggis
True, and it's even more alarming how many people eat chicken nuggets without ever having caught one in the wild!
Hunt a pop tart, you say....

https://youtu.be/3ckVb6uRm7o?si=58KYg6zZDJDk8qTF
I prefer free-range pop tarts where they can run around all day exercising their little toaster pastry legs.
I'm a Monster: I eat them *raw* -- in their natural state! 😱
This was the laugh I didn’t know I needed this morning!
True Pop-tarts are effectively extinct in the wild. If you _do_ see one, it's likely to be one of the many hybrids that came of close proximity to other, generic, toaster-pastries. These new sub-species are much hardier, nervous around humans, and generally smaller. These characteristics means they're harder to hunt, and offer less frosting and/or filling than farmed varieties.
There is hope for future generations, as some conservation agencies are now planning reintroduction schemes.
It wasn't until I started raising my own pop tarts that I really understood where they came from. But now I can't eat them.
Have to hunt my Pop Tarts around the kitchen after the cats stalk them
I saw a bag of “organic” gummy bears at the store. Didn’t trust it though because I couldn’t find on the bag if they had been free-ranged and not just marinating in a gross open enclosure like most gummy bears before they’re slaughtered.
Mark Zuckerberg spent a year hunting his own pop-tarts, and now has a special ranch on Kauai dedicated to their husbandry.
As a hunter I don't mind killing them, but they are such a pain to gut and clean that it's not worth it for me.