https://chaser.com.au/general-news/nurses-try-tasering-elderly-patients-to-secure-pay-rise/

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In a drastic move to finally secure an equitable wage increase, Nurses in NSW have been electrocuting elderly patients at the first sign of any non-compliance.

“We just want to be treated as essential workers,” said nurse Angela brandishing a high voltage stun gun, “apparently this is the kind of stuff that gives you a 40% pay rise here.”

“So if any of our patients are giving us grief, even if they’re not a threat we say ‘Bugger it’ and hit them with 50,000 volts.”

Nurses across NSW have also taken to escalating situations, intimidating protestors, protecting Neo-Nazi’s and insisting on strip searching every young woman they see.

NSW Premier Chris Minns has said it makes total sense to give police quadruple the pay rise they’ve offered nurses.

“Look, just because a nurse requires 3 times the training that a police officer does doesn’t mean they’re entitled to the same pay. We need our police, those lower income areas wont intimidate themselves, you know.”

“We all remember when the true heroes of the pandemic saved the day, it’s time we reward those police for their hard work.”

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#satire #AusPol #nswPol #WomensRights #ShitParty #ShitLiteParty #FsckOffDutton #WhyIsLabor #NoNukes #VoteGreens #sexism #hypocrisy