The myth that autistic people have no empathy and are emotionally cold.
This is one of the biggest reasons autistic people don't realise they're autistic, because we know that many of us can be hyper empathetic, and have big emotions.
Some autistic people do struggle to understand why other people feel the way they do, and some of us can seem unaffected or unfeeling, but often that's because allistic people misinterpret our body language, facial expression and tone of voice.
I experience this most often and furiously when NTs expect some kind of social behaviour, rituals, beeing proactive about potential needs, that gives them the gut feeling that we "care" for them
As we dont recognice this, they get the feeling we dont care for them
Its for example when we are expected to proactively bring a bottle of water to someone to show our care, when they talk about hot weather
Another one is accepting a statement at face value.
Someone falls, you ask them if they're OK, they say they are, and you believe them and don't understand that you're supposed to understand they're not telling the truth.
One that I'm always bumping into is not realising that someone finds a certain topic of conversation upsetting. If it's pointed out to me, I totally understand why, but I often miss the context clues.
This probably isn't really what I'd pick first because it's more about the community, but the idea that all of us get along with and understand each other.
@actuallyautistic That the prototypical or "average" person with autism is like the guy on TBBT. The majority of people with ASD are nonverbal (without years of intervention), and require a huge amount of care (again, many can become independent with significant intervention, but many probably cannot).
I wouldn't say that the majority are non verbal. That is a generalisation in the opposite direction, in my opinion. Can I ask what you mean by years of intervention? #ActuallyAutisticElder @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
@actuallyautistic While I agree with the assessment that Sheldon's a bad stereotype, I'd like to know your source on that most of us autistic folk are non-verbal without severe interventions, and incapable of being independent?
While I need support (mainly monetary since I can't work at all), it's not to the level of needing 24/7 care in a home, and I'm not fully sure I am an outlier there.
@actuallyautistic It's from when I was fresh out of grad school and had been studying (not my main thing) autism etc. as part of a clinical rotation I was doing. I did another deep dive or two around... IDK, 2010? Something like that.
I'd need to get back into the literature to find the rates of these things again, at this point.
@actuallyautistic The problem with all these rates and percentages, is that they are based on known autistics. In other words, those who have been diagnosed and also, in the worst case scenarios, often on those who are institutionalised. Given that it is highly possible that the majority of autistics are undiagnosed, often very adept at masking and even probably unaware that they are autistic, then such statistics are hardly reliable, or indicative of the population.
As a child, I was probably more like Sheldon w/o the genius. I didn't flap. But, that's the thing. There's no hard and fast, tried and true mould. This is what #Autists are pushing against. The need for us to be corralled, and tagged. @melindrea @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
@actuallyautistic Indeed. When I first went to school, I was probably more classically autistic. Speech delay, no eye contact, poor, to non-existent, social skills. And yet, it being the 60's and because I was clearly intelligent, autism wasn't even looked into. The model for what autism is, even though vastly better now, has never been fit for purpose and won't be until we are the ones who determine it.
@actuallyautistic Although, given how committed so-called experts are to their views, hardly surprising. I think it's only slow awareness by those willing to look beyond those views and pressure from the autistic community that have ever changed and are changing them now.
@actuallyautistic We can only know what we can know. If nobody knows what's going on, then nobody knows what's going on (including you and everyone else). The reason the stats exist is because some people (many of them also autistic, I've learned) make it their life's work to try to understand these things.
Not knowing everything doesn't mean we know nothing, and we never know everything. It certainly seems, from recent journalism, anyway, that autism might have been underdiagnosed for decades, which isn't surprising at all. If that changes the proportions we estimate of autistic people who are verbal vs. not, then it changes.
@actuallyautistic Stats like this are at best an indicator of what could be the shape of things. My pet hate is people assuming that they are the shape of things. As always, accuracy requires representative sample and population modelling. Given that not only has autism always been vastly undiagnosed and that even today it still is, the modelling that takes place is always going to be highly questionable.
@actuallyautistic You've touched on something I think a lot of scientists (and I think maybe especially social scientists) think we understand: we will never truly know anything. That doesn't mean we know nothing, because there is higher and lower confidence in what we (think we?) know, but certainty just isn't on the table at all, and it never will be. So when a scientist of any kind says they know X or Y, they are almost certainly, in their head, aware that that knowledge will change at some point as new information is gleaned.
I actually get a little annoyed at conferences, sometimes, when I hear the rare presenter give a talk seeming like they are actually truly certain about what their data means. I don't think we can ever be certain. However, we have to live and make decisions, so we proceed as if our understanding of the current scientific state of a certain field were certainty, and we try to be ready to pivot when the evidence demands it, because what else can we do?
@actuallyautistic Very true. Proper scientific understanding of truth, is that it's simply the best explanation to date. As opposed to, carved in stone, as many in the general population often think. My point is that given the limited and probably unrepresentative sampling, more care should be taken with any of the results.
@actuallyautistic It's possible the estimates have changed. My information is research-based and at this point at least 15 years old (maybe more like 20).
I just did a search for autism social groups, and they are mostly for kids and teens, emphasising socialisation, and regulating emotions. So, I don't know if we have advanced a whole heck of a lot in the way allistics view autism. Add specifying high-functioning, and Asperger's to Adult Social Groups, and you can pretty much guess who gets left out. Hint: autists who don't want to mask their autism. @guyjantic @jonquass @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
An online discussion circle for autistic adults led by an autistic peer-support coach. This is a space for autistic adults to connect with others, learn about themselves, and grow.
@actuallyautistic I guess I'm lucky. The autism group in my city has programs for youth, adults, and even seniors. I haven't tried one out yet, but they each have events listed every month.
Zumbador •
The myth that autistic people have no empathy and are emotionally cold.
This is one of the biggest reasons autistic people don't realise they're autistic, because we know that many of us can be hyper empathetic, and have big emotions.
Some autistic people do struggle to understand why other people feel the way they do, and some of us can seem unaffected or unfeeling, but often that's because allistic people misinterpret our body language, facial expression and tone of voice.
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷 hat dies geteilt
Laberpferd •
As we dont recognice this, they get the feeling we dont care for them
Its for example when we are expected to proactively bring a bottle of water to someone to show our care, when they talk about hot weather
@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
Zumbador •
Another one is accepting a statement at face value.
Someone falls, you ask them if they're OK, they say they are, and you believe them and don't understand that you're supposed to understand they're not telling the truth.
One that I'm always bumping into is not realising that someone finds a certain topic of conversation upsetting. If it's pointed out to me, I totally understand why, but I often miss the context clues.
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷 hat dies geteilt
CynAq🤘 •
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷 hat dies geteilt
The Aforementioned W •
@actuallyautistic
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Geodesic Wizards Making Duckface Selfies Unite! •
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Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷 •
:neuro: Antonius Marie ⚧ •
While I need support (mainly monetary since I can't work at all), it's not to the level of needing 24/7 care in a home, and I'm not fully sure I am an outlier there.
Geodesic Wizards Making Duckface Selfies Unite! •
I'd need to get back into the literature to find the rates of these things again, at this point.
Kevin Davy •
The problem with all these rates and percentages, is that they are based on known autistics. In other words, those who have been diagnosed and also, in the worst case scenarios, often on those who are institutionalised. Given that it is highly possible that the majority of autistics are undiagnosed, often very adept at masking and even probably unaware that they are autistic, then such statistics are hardly reliable, or indicative of the population.
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷 hat dies geteilt
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷 •
Kevin Davy •
Indeed. When I first went to school, I was probably more classically autistic. Speech delay, no eye contact, poor, to non-existent, social skills. And yet, it being the 60's and because I was clearly intelligent, autism wasn't even looked into. The model for what autism is, even though vastly better now, has never been fit for purpose and won't be until we are the ones who determine it.
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷 hat dies geteilt
Syllus Green •
Kevin Davy •
Although, given how committed so-called experts are to their views, hardly surprising. I think it's only slow awareness by those willing to look beyond those views and pressure from the autistic community that have ever changed and are changing them now.
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷 hat dies geteilt
Geodesic Wizards Making Duckface Selfies Unite! •
Not knowing everything doesn't mean we know nothing, and we never know everything. It certainly seems, from recent journalism, anyway, that autism might have been underdiagnosed for decades, which isn't surprising at all. If that changes the proportions we estimate of autistic people who are verbal vs. not, then it changes.
Kevin Davy •
Stats like this are at best an indicator of what could be the shape of things. My pet hate is people assuming that they are the shape of things. As always, accuracy requires representative sample and population modelling. Given that not only has autism always been vastly undiagnosed and that even today it still is, the modelling that takes place is always going to be highly questionable.
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷 hat dies geteilt
Geodesic Wizards Making Duckface Selfies Unite! •
I actually get a little annoyed at conferences, sometimes, when I hear the rare presenter give a talk seeming like they are actually truly certain about what their data means. I don't think we can ever be certain. However, we have to live and make decisions, so we proceed as if our understanding of the current scientific state of a certain field were certainty, and we try to be ready to pivot when the evidence demands it, because what else can we do?
Kevin Davy •
Very true. Proper scientific understanding of truth, is that it's simply the best explanation to date. As opposed to, carved in stone, as many in the general population often think. My point is that given the limited and probably unrepresentative sampling, more care should be taken with any of the results.
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷 hat dies geteilt
Jon Quass •
I think you underestimate howany people are autistic and verbal.
Women are getting diagnosed in their thirties now, and men are afraid to get diagnosed.
@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
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Bernie Sadly Does It •
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷 •
Matthew | The Autistic Coach •
https://www.theautisticcoach.com/autism-discussion-affirmation-circles
Free Autism Discussion & Affirmation Circles | Autistic Support Group Online | Free Support Group for Autistic Adults — The #ActuallyAutistic Coach
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Murdoc Addams 🧛🏻 •
I guess I'm lucky. The autism group in my city has programs for youth, adults, and even seniors. I haven't tried one out yet, but they each have events listed every month.