"But you're doing just fine" is the classical argument used by neurotypicals. "You're doing fine", so there's no problem. "You're doing fine", so you're not disabled — well, maybe just a little.

I'm not claiming that others don't have problems. I'm not claiming don't have it "worse" (though trying to compare is never a good idea). But I find the frequent use of "you're doing just fine" unfair.

Firstly, how can you even know how I'm doing? Just because you don't see the problems, that doesn't mean there are none. Is it this hard to imagine I'm not going to brag "hey, I've had suuuch a meltdown yesterday!"? Or, "27 years ago, I was sooo humiliated that it still bothers me today".

Secondly, what does "doing just fine" mean anyway? Is it "fine" that I'm giving up this or that, because I know I won't manage? Is it cutting off your last friends, because you don't have the energy to stay in touch? What about all these things that I'm convinced that I don't care about — how much of that is the "real me", and how much just an excuse for my limitations, so I won't feel so bad?

Thirdly, "but at what cost!" It's a real effort. These are hours of time that others can dedicate for entertainment, or friends, or family, or even sleep. These are more sacrifices: things you don't have time for.

#Diabetes is just like that. Sure, my blood sugar looks good most of the time. But it's not simply a matter of "luck" or "good body", or how do you want to call it. It's an effort and sacrifice, day after day, week after week. It's fight to keep one disease at bay, risking other health problems.

#ActuallyAutistic