This is bullshit. We’re in spacedock for maintenance, it’s my day off and I had a fishing trip booked in the holodeck. But no, the first officer’s sister is moving house down on the planet, and he had this great idea to surprise her by transporting all her furniture. So I’m down here in the cargo hold beaming up sofas and tchotchkes while gamma shift beams them back down. Commander Asshole better fucking pay up on the favours he owes from this.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

I’ve created a monster. I made a mastodon account for my cat Mister Vortex. I rigged up a camera with a selfie button, that posts the image. Every ten likes on his selfies result in a treat being dispensed. I’m not STUPID I made sure there was a limit to how many treats it would dispense per day, saving up treat credits for later.

Anyway, now he has treat credit to last until year 2361, and more followers than me.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Catunday

(A commission gift for Moon Rover @BathysphereHat)

Why the heck does Neuralink even *have* an expansion socket if they are going to blacklist all the best extensions? Last month they pulled the plug (or should that be pulled the socket?) on the Playstation emulator, and now they’ve banned AdBlock Extreme. I can’t even walk down the street without an ad blocker chipped. I should have got a fucking FireSlot instead of this garbage.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

The new conservative government shut down the agency for promoting indigenous reconcilation and a treaty. The media calls it "historic wage theft", as if "slavery" might burn their tongue off if they spoke it. Better to bury history.

If we had a time machine, maybe we could go back and prevent it all. But time machines are provably impossible. I've built a present machine. Actually its just my laptop. I use it to look up every politician that owns multiple houses. They get to keep the cheapest one. The titles of the others are transferred to homeless people. It's a start.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

The act had won Most Unconvincing Bear Award 6 years running. Everyone said they were terrible. Hank didn't care. He had been practicing on his flugelhorn, and he was sure that this season would be different.

The crowds were going to love the new routine: the breathtaking glissandos, the ursine dancing, and his hat. They were going to love the tassly bits on his hat.

Carl had no such illusions. He did, however, pray for the sweet release of death.

#microfiction #humor #humour #flashfiction

A spaceship landed in the park. A door dilated and an alien emerged.
"Er," they said.
They looked around, turned and looked at the door, then turned again.
"Do you also experience that?" they asked the gathering crowd. "You go through a door and forget what you were going to do?"
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories